Writing by Bert Deysel for the people asking the hardest question there is — should I stay in this marriage, or should I get a divorce. Unhappy marriages, the signs it is over, staying together for the kids, and what conflict and separation really do to children. Written plainly, from having been there.
7 September 2026
If you are asking whether to get a divorce, the answer keeps changing because you keep asking on different days. Here is a way to decide that does not move with your mood.
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7 September 2026
Not every bad sign means the marriage is finished, and the ones people worry about most are rarely the ones that decide it. What actually predicts the end, and what is just a hard year.
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6 September 2026
Divorce is not automatically the worst outcome for children, and staying is not automatically the kind one. What the research on the effects of divorce on children really shows, and the question it points you to.
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5 September 2026
Most relationship advice asks you to become a different person by Friday. Here is the smaller version that actually holds: one specific ask, four weeks, and honest evidence.
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5 September 2026
Children are not harmed by disagreement. They are harmed by hostility they cannot resolve, silence they cannot read, and being asked to hold a side. What to change if you are staying for now.
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4 September 2026
Unhappy and over are two different things, and telling them apart is most of the work. How to tell whether a loveless marriage is dead or dormant, without guessing.
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3 September 2026
What to say, who says it, when, and the four things children need to hear. Written for the conversation you have been dreading rather than for a textbook.
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1 September 2026
Keeping score feels like fairness. It is usually just a record of everything you have not said out loud.
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30 August 2026
Not fireworks. Mostly it feels like being able to say a hard thing on a Wednesday and still being fine on Thursday.
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24 August 2026
Today's mood rewrites the whole history of your relationship. That is why one week of records beats one bad Sunday.
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17 August 2026
The Sunday night summit rarely fixes anything. What predicts whether a couple lasts is how quickly they come back after a small thing goes wrong.
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10 August 2026
Better communication is not a script or a technique. It is one sentence, said early, about one thing, with nothing else attached to it.
Read itFuller pieces that go deeper than a single note.
Six questions, about two minutes, and a plain result. No account needed.
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