Should I get a divorce? A way to answer it that holds up on a bad day
If you are asking whether to get a divorce, the answer keeps changing because you keep asking on different days. Here is a way to decide that does not move with your mood.
Relationistics — should you stay, or should you go?
The hardest questions about a relationship deserve better than a quiz.
Relationistics builds careful, research-based tools for the decisions people agonise over for years. Not verdicts, not advice from an algorithm — structured ways to gather your own evidence until the answer stops moving week to week.
Programmes
Available now
Stay or Go
A guided programme for anyone stuck between staying in and leaving a relationship. A baseline across eight dimensions, weekly check-ins, and a clarity report built from your own evidence.
Explore Stay or GoIn development
More to come
Further programmes built on the same principles: measured over time, grounded in published research, and never handing down a verdict.
How we build
- Evidence over impressions. Every tool measures the same things repeatedly, so a bad week can't rewrite the whole history.
- Published research, cited. The dimensions come from established work on couples, attachment and commitment — set out in full on the research page. The questionnaires are research-informed, not validated psychometric instruments.
- No verdicts. Nothing here decides anything about your life. The scoring is arithmetic and the conclusion stays yours.
- Safety first. Where there is harm or fear, these are the wrong tools and we say so. Support is here.
Relationship notes
Short pieces on the things that actually decide it — doubt, repair, effort, and the Sunday night version of your own history. Written plainly, from having been there.
The signs your marriage is over — and the ones that only look like it
Not every bad sign means the marriage is finished, and the ones people worry about most are rarely the ones that decide it. What actually predicts the end, and what is just a hard year.
Staying together for the kids: what the evidence actually says
Divorce is not automatically the worst outcome for children, and staying is not automatically the kind one. What the research on the effects of divorce on children really shows, and the question it points you to.
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