Stay or Go — a Relationistics program

You don't need another quiz.
You need evidence.

The reason this decision won't resolve is that it moves. On a good week you're staying, on a bad week you're gone. Stay or Go replaces that with something steadier: a proper baseline, weekly check-ins over several weeks, and a final report built from what you actually recorded — not from how today happened to go.

Take the baseline assessmentAbout 20 minutes · free · no account needed to start
01

Baseline

Around forty questions across eight dimensions, branched for marriage or dating. Scored the same way every time, so it can be compared to itself later.

02

Weeks of tracking

A two-minute check-in each week, one reflection prompt aimed at your weakest area, and one small experiment to run in real life.

03

Clarity report

At the end, everything you recorded, read back to you: what moved, what stayed flat despite your effort, and the question actually in front of you.

The eight dimensions

Drawn from established relationship research rather than opinion. Each one is scored at baseline and re-measured every week.

Respect & contempt

How you speak about and to each other

Repair after conflict

What happens after a fight

Trust & safety

Whether you can relax around them

Closeness & intimacy

Emotional and physical connection

Autonomy & self

How much of you is still here

Shared future

Whether you want the same life

Effort balance

Who is carrying this

Staying out of fear

Why you're still here

See the research and citations behind each dimension.

What this is not

  • It is not therapy, and it is not a substitute for it. If you are in crisis, please speak to a person.
  • It will never tell you to stay or to leave. Anything that claims it can, on the strength of a questionnaire, is guessing.
  • It is not for relationships where you are being harmed. If that's your situation, start here instead.

Start with the baseline

You'll get your pattern and your three sticking points at the end of it, free, before deciding whether to go further.

Begin