How this works

Nobody can tell you whether to stay. What a tool can do is stop you deciding on the strength of whichever week you happen to be having.

The problem with asking yourself today

Ask someone on a Tuesday after a good weekend and the relationship is worth saving. Ask the same person on a Thursday after a fight and it's over. Both answers feel like clarity. Neither is evidence. The single most common thing people describe is not knowing which of their own feelings to trust — a state that can last years, because each new week overwrites the last.

This program is built around one idea: you already have the information, but it is scattered across months of memory that your current mood keeps re-editing. Write it down as it happens and the pattern stops being a matter of opinion.

Eight dimensions

The baseline and every weekly check-in measure the same eight things: respect, repair after conflict, trust, intimacy, autonomy, shared future, effort, and the part fear plays in keeping you there. They are drawn from the relationship research that has held up best over time — Gottman's work on contempt and repair attempts as predictors of divorce, attachment research on autonomy inside a bond, and Kirshenbaum's framing of diagnostic questions rather than pros-and-cons lists.

Eight is deliberate. Fewer and you can't see which part is actually failing. More and you can't answer honestly every week for two months. The research behind each dimension is set out in full, with citations.

What the score is and isn't

Your scores are arithmetic, not judgement. No AI decides anything about your relationship, and nothing in this program will ever return a verdict. The report at the end reflects your own words and your own trend line back to you — what improved, what didn't move in eight weeks of attention, and which of your reasons for staying were about the relationship versus about fear of the alternative.

The decision stays yours because it has to. You are the one who lives in it.

The experiments

Each week you get one small, specific thing to try in the real world, targeted at whichever dimension is scoring lowest. This matters more than the rating. A relationship that responds to effort and a relationship that absorbs effort without changing look identical from the inside until you test them.

Where this stops

If there is violence, coercion, threats, or fear of your partner, this is the wrong tool and eight weeks is the wrong timeframe. That is not a relationship-quality question to be measured — it is a safety question, and it has different answers. Support is here. This program is also not therapy and not a substitute for a counsellor.

Your privacy

What you write here is about the most sensitive thing a person can write down. Your entries are visible only to your own account, you can export everything at any time, and deleting your account erases all of it immediately. There is a Quick exit button in the header of every page. Read the full privacy note.